Hi,
I've been on the planet for quite some time now, and I have become convinced that all in all it would be more fun to not be single forever. I know, it's a big step, but some times you gotta throw your dice and take your chances. Besides, I've never been accused of knowing what I'm doing, so this would be exactly within character for me. In order for me to meet the right person it seems I have to get them to be attracted to me...sigh...so I guess I'll have to pretend I'm some kind of "great person" or something. Here go's.
I'm fun. Not just going to the movies fun either. I'm talking about knee slapping, eye watering, beer coming out of your nose fun, (sexy image, right)? Barrels of monkeys hang out with ME for a good time. I once tickled pink...uh...pink. I was chased from the circus by a gang of jealous clowns. I still get a little uneasy around over sized shoes, but that may have been true even before the whole clown incident.
I'm smart. At least that's what my friends say. Of course, I make a point of hanging out with stupid people, so that's kind of predictable. When we meet a new person they always think I'm the smart one, which just goes to show that my plan is working.
I'm athletic. I recently retired from professional wrestling. Perhaps you've heard of me. My wrestling name was "The Snuggler". I know,..chilling.
I'm protective. If we are threatened I will defend you with my rapier wit and leave the assailant in a crippling state of low self esteem.
I'm adventurous. I once ordered a pizza...with everything...EVEN ANCHOVIES! Won't do that again.
I'm cool. Sometimes my socks even match.
I'm sensitive. At least that's what the rugby team say's...bunch of pansy's.
I'm honest. I never fib or exagerate, as I'm sure you can tell from my profile.
I'm nurturing. I don't have any kids, but I had a fish once...it died. But I think I felt bad. It was a long time ago.
I'm mature. I respond well to criticism and direction, but don't tell me what to do cause your not the boss of me!
I have many more awesome qualities that I will list as soon as I make them up, but for now I hope that will do.

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Hmmm.... I don't really have a plan. I'm not much of a planner. But maybe this will be helpful. First, wear something sexy. I have a very short att ( hey! a squirrel! ) ention span and it will help me stay focused. Try not to talk too much as I find myself interesting and hilarious. I'm sure you have your moments, but let's be realistic, shall we? Please be punctual as my obsessive compulsive disorder will cause me to be at least a half an hour early and if your late it just means more time washing my hands. If you feel compelled to text during our date that's fine, just don't be offended when I pretend to be texting when you are. It makes me feel better. While I am aware that you will have an irresistible urge to tear my clothes off and ravish me, please try to control yourself. My mother often said ,"no ravishing at the dinner table", and I have tried to honor that. When the check comes please only make a cursory effort to pay if at all. I know you probably make more money than I do but you are NOT getting those frequent flier miles! At the awkward part of the evening when we part company, I will probably try to kiss you. I will not be offended if you pull away. In fact, all of my relationships start with rejection. Ask my my ex wife. They seem to end that way too. I guess I'm used to it.

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Continued happiness

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